I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
