and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No subtext here. People are naked.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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