he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
