just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When are your genitals available?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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