I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
