your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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