You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
