your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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