Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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