she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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