Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
