guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
