Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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