Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
MIDGETS
????
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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