i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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