I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Houston, we have a squirter
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
