due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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