I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
