i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
