why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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