Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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