all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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