You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
