Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
