I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
