So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
