Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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