Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He kissed a someone with a penis
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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