Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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