That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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