just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
