I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize