Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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