But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize