Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

(678): View more from Georgia

So... What happend then?

(404): View more from Georgia

We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(716): View more from New York

You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.

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(480): View more from Arizona

why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!

(623): View more from Arizona

I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?

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