The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
