ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
