i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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