oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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