Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
