Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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