His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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