Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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