i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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