He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
