My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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