tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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