he puts the penis in happiness.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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