just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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