Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
