They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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