Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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