spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
