He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
