.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
