bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
